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I have to say that I’m pretty pissed off about pseudo-straight men.
Please let me make some direct specifications before I get into the bulk of this matter.
- This is not about my CURRENT relationship or to any CURRENT relationship I know of.
- My boyfriend is sexy and straight. I hope yours is too. Straight. Not sexy.
- I love and wholly support gays, bisexuals, transvestites and transgender.
- You go girlboy.
- I am all for freedom and exploration of the human sexuality as long as it is done in a safe and responsible manner, with true thought and consideration for all parties involved.
- Let your freak flag fly.
#THIS BLOG CONTAINS SEXUALLY GRAPHIC MATERIAL. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.#
I am writing this because after some research and knowing a few women personally who have gone through the same thing, I realized that mine is not an isolated case. It happens, and with continuing frequency.
With these truths outlined, let me just say that I personally think that all you secretly gay men out there, making love to women who adore you, SUCK.
I don’t just mean cock.
I mean that if you are secretly gay either 1. stay secretly gay and hope you don’t get an STD to give to your lovely lady or 2. own up and expect a relationship melt-down. There are few things I can think of in a civilized relationship that could completely wreck a person like telling your partner you’re gay.
You see boys, for a lot of you, the idea of your woman being a snatch licker is not only okay, but the AMERICAN CREAM. A lot of you are like “Oh fuck yeah. Two bitches and my cock? All the time? Awesome.” Eventually the smarter portion of you realize that while the sex would be awesome that she would be an extra mouth to bitch at you when you piss on the toilet seat or leave seminal jerk socks on the floor. That’s usually where you leave the idea. On the floor in a sock. Not into your RL.
I digress.
The overwhelming majority of women however are not interested in 2 men. That is unless they’re both paying attention to her. Not gooch-rumping on the couch while she’s folding laundry. Let’s be honest here, gay sex, no matter how well planned, is NOT pretty. Man ass was never meant to be admired. That’s why it’s hairy.
“Oh God, Cover that shit up! GROSS!”
Women are interested in being the object of desire. Of being wanted, and feeling beautiful. Of feeling complete and wonderful and perfect. A compliment to their partner. The majority of women enjoy the idea of a strong man, confident, dominant. A protector. It’s in our genes. Trailings from caveman days. Also for the most part, while a lot of women do enjoy porn, we all share a common denominator. We care more for FEELING than for the visual. That being said, once again, the sight of two men doing each other is very rarely arousing. Women liked Brokeback Mountain because of the story of the men falling in love and fighting against all odds for that love. Not because they wanted to see Jake Gyllenhall balls to the walls.
I think sex is sex and if you’re a man and you enjoy the penis, then go for it. If you’re a woman and you love the cleavered beaver, go for it. I’m not hating, or judging or anything of the sort. I want you to be happy. See Condition 3.
The point of this diatribe is that when you enter into a heterosexual relationship, and stay in that relationship under false pretenses for any amount of time, only to drop the gay-bomb on your partner, you’re a fucking thoughtless asshole. Hence, you piss me off and end up as the topic of my rage blog.
Can anyone explain this to me? This happened to me in a relationship out in Washington. I was ENGAGED. Any of you that know me even scarcely probably know that I am and have been anti-marriage for a long time. Was with the guy for 3 years.
On my 3 year anniversary I got asked to buy a strap on. 2 months later I’m finding out he’s emailing random gay dudes offering his ass at a park on the beach not 3 blocks away from our house. Not 3 blocks away from our bed. Joining outdoor gay sex sites, saying things like “I’m not really into sucking cock, but I guess it comes with the territory.”
SERIOUSLY?
Not only are you going behind my back to try and cheat on me, which is a relationship ender to begin with, but you’re offering yourself as a buttslut to a random stranger by the shore while I’m asleep. YOU wanted to get married and now I find out YOU’RE gay?
Anyone? Answers?
This, in my mind, is the ULTIMATE betrayal. I’ve spent years with you, told you my life, lived my life with you, poured out my soul physically and mentally, emotionally and spiritually was willing to BIND myself to you. Out of nowhere suddenly I’m not enough.
I am not enough even though I have been for the last 3 years. I’m SO fucking horrible that you’ve turned to ugly man ass. While I’m searching my soul and trying to justify being willing to basically sell myself to you for the rest of my life via a marriage license, you’re searching for strange cock you don’t know wheres been. Fantasizing while we’re making love that you’re being pile driven by a group of bukkake Mexicans with burros waiting in the wings.
Fucking Christ I hope you somehow read this and after you do your dick falls off and a bird eats it.
Oh, not you reader. My ex boyfriend looking for the seafood burrito.
On a lesser note, I’d like to talk for a minute about porn. I want to touch on this (topic, not myself) because I know that the World Wide Web has brought us an unending asundry of strange and new porn. I’m not anti-porn. My rule is: If you’re all of age, willing, and fully coherent. Go for it. Whatever it is. I DO NOT CARE.
I do find myself ENRAGED by tranny porn however. I don’t know if this is just a ‘oh your boyfriend turned gay’ thing or if there is another underlying cause, but the idea of a man dressed as a woman having sex with a man who could be mine just makes me want to punch a fucking midget with a chainsaw. It’s like, not only are you a man who is having sex with another man, but you’re dressed up as me while you’re doing it.
I have had multiple long term relationships, and in a majority of them, (the “beachbum” included), I have been told that tranny porn just is. They just like it. Can’t explain it. Just really fucking like it. So what is the fascination with this? What gives?
I have transgender and transvestite friends. Good friends. People I consider to be intelligent and really stand-up people. The thought of them having sex, while strange and a bit too close for comfort, does NOT anger me. It’s perfectly fine with me. It’s only when I see the porn. Or think about it.
I’m about to punch something as I type actually. It’s amazing how pissed off I am right now.
Fuck it. Let’s get real.
The point that I guess I’m trying to get to, albeit winding and rather bitchy, is that lying to your partner about something as fundamental as your actual sexuality is inconceivable, hateful, hurtful, and pretty much ruining a life you’ve created with the one you “love”. You are leaving them in a cloud of lies and feeling like they weren’t enough and probably never going to be enough for anyone who actually matters. By lying to someone about something with such gravity, you scar them. You cause them to constantly question their world and their worth. Perpetually worry that their next relationship is going to end with the same results. You’ve been so good at hiding it, and it came as such a surprise that your partner will forever carry that memory and the fear of living it again. Hindering their relationships and making an otherwise healthy, satisfying and fun activity a source of constant anger and fear.
If you are in this situation, I really have no sympathy. If you have enough common sense and care for the one you’re with you’ll be gracious enough to NOT FUCK MEN and either deal with it by suppressing your gay side (which I DO NOT condone), or by explaining to your partner that you are not interested in the relationship anymore.
Do NOT just expect to say “Honey I’m Gay” and think that she’ll let you bring a new meaning to “Boys night in.” If she doesn’t give you a Lorena Bobbitt, she’ll want to. If she stays with you she’ll resent you. Make your decision and stick with it. Realize you’re fucked, in more ways than one.
My formal opinion on dropping the gay-bomb on your partner and turning your whole relationship into a string of lies?
I personally think you should get your ass filled with cement for it.
saywhatsayward 